Choosing Positivity: How to Change Your Year, Day, and Life

Life is filled with highs and lows, but whether we live positively or negatively is ultimately our choice. As someone who lives with ADHD, I know how easy it is to spiral into negativity. Many of us who have experienced depression or anxiety often go out of our way to make others happy because it makes us feel better. But what about how we treat ourselves?

Behind closed doors, many of us judge our own reflections with harsh criticism. We mask our struggles so well that no one suspects the storm inside. After being medicated for ADHD for a year now, I’ve learned to give my brain a break, and in that space, I've realised something crucial: Positivity isn’t just about how we treat others—it’s how we treat ourselves.

Let’s explore how our thoughts, energy, and mindset shape our lives and the science behind why it matters.

The "Worst Case Scenario" Game: A Hidden Stressor

For years, I thought running through "worst case scenarios" was a way to prepare for life’s curveballs. While this coping mechanism can help us feel ready, it also puts our bodies through immense stress before anything even happens.

Science shows that our brains and bodies don’t distinguish between imagined stress and real stress. When you imagine a bad outcome, your body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline as if the event were truly happening. Over time, chronic stress weakens your immune system, affects your sleep, and leads to anxiety.

Reiki and Positive Energy

When I learned Reiki, I finally understood the impact of positive and negative energy on the body. Every cell in your body responds to your thoughts and words. If you constantly envision negativity, every cell experiences that stress.

Science Behind Words: The Rice Experiment

A famous experiment by Dr. Masaru Emoto illustrates this beautifully. Cooked rice was placed in two jars: one jar was spoken to with loving, positive words, while the other was bombarded with negative words. After a month, the "positive" jar stayed relatively fresh, while the "negative" jar became mouldy and rotten.

Imagine the effect this has on our own bodies and minds.

Empathy, Energy, and the Ripple Effect

Many of us are empaths, meaning we deeply feel the emotions of those around us. When you’re stressed, flustered, or venting negativity, that energy doesn’t stay contained—it ripples outward. Your frustration can unintentionally stress those around you. Conversely, positivity and calmness can uplift others.

Energy Expansion

Energy is contagious. Research in psychology shows that emotions can "spread" through social interactions, a phenomenon known as emotional contagion. If you’re radiating stress or anger, people around you will likely feel it too. Likewise, if you’re calm and positive, you can create a soothing environment.

My Journey: From Masking to Mindfulness

I’ve often masked my struggles to appear positive. I’d spend a wonderful weekend with friends, only to feel bittersweet exhaustion on the drive home. It’s a mix of happiness for the memories and sadness that it’s over.

Reflecting on my past, I’ve realised that many of my anxieties stemmed from negative verbal interactions during my youth and early adulthood. I replay conversations often, worrying about how I came across and how I affected others. I’ve always felt misunderstood, and that feeling still lingers. I’m aware of how ditzy my circular conversations can sound, but people have often underestimated my intelligence. Perhaps it’s because I’m into art and open to the world—traits that some wrongly equate with a lack of smarts.

I’ve come to understand the scientific impact of negative words on people. Just like Dr. Emoto’s rice experiment, negative words can harm us at a cellular level. Children who exhibit unkind behaviour often learn it from adults around them. Healthy, positive communication is something we learn by witnessing it. If we want to raise kind and compassionate individuals, we need to model those behaviours ourselves.

I sometimes stress about moments that others have long forgotten—like a single time I slapped my son’s face when he was 12 during an emotional moment. While he’s moved on, I still carried that guilt.

But here’s the truth: We can choose to let go. We can choose kindness—for others and for ourselves. Every word we speak has the potential to impact those who hear it. By going out of our way to spread positivity, we create ripples that uplift not only ourselves but the world around us.

Mindset Matters: Why Positive Thinking is Vital

We’re nearing the end of the year, and I often see posts like "2025 will be my year!" or "2024 was the worst." But here’s the thing: your year, day, and life experience are shaped by your mindset.

Yes, crappy things happen. Illness, loss, setbacks—these are part of life. But how you react is your choice.

The Miracle of Everyday Life

Instead of dwelling on what goes wrong, start noticing the tiny miracles around you, such as:

• Ants carrying loads 10 times their weight.

• The simple fact that you’re breathing.

• How your body repairs itself after a small injury like a stubbed toe.

When you train your mind to find joy in these moments, challenges become easier to navigate.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Positivity

Here are simple ways to increase your internal happiness and spread positive energy:

Be Mindful of Your Impact

• After interactions, ask yourself: Did I uplift or drain that person?

• Pre-Think Your Messages: Before sending a message or replying on social media, consider how it will be received. Is it necessary? Will it positively affect the person? How might the conversation unfold? Be extra positive so your gratitude shines through. Manners and politeness create positive experiences, too.

Gratitude Journaling

• Write down small things you’re grateful for daily. Over time, you’ll naturally notice more positives.

  
  

Journaling to Release Negativity

• Write out your frustrations, but don’t dump them on others. Unsent letters can be powerful.

  
  

Share Positivity Online

• Post uplifting content and avoid sharing conspiracies or negativity.

  
  

Compliment Others

• Whether in person or online, share positive thoughts directly. Praising someone behind their back rarely gets back to them!

Acknowledge the Miracles

• From a stubbed toe reminding you that you feel to the complexity of your heartbeat—life is miraculous.

Move Your Body

• Exercise, dance, or even use a punching bag to release pent-up energy.

The Ripple Effect of Kindness

Monks meditate to send positive energy into the world. Imagine if we all did our part to spread good vibes! Every positive thought, word, and action contributes to a healthier, happier world.

Final Thoughts

Life is not out to get you. The universe is too busy keeping everything alive. Sometimes, things go wrong—that’s just how existence works. But remember:

• You are a spirit in a body.

• Your mindset shapes your experience.

• You have the power to choose positivity.

Let’s change the world, one positive thought and gesture at a time. We’ve come so far in how we treat each other; let’s continue to evolve. Be kind to yourself, and the rest will follow.

Let’s make positivity a habit—for ourselves, for others, and for the world. -Ang x